Desirability politics is the hierarchical privileging of traits deemed sexually or socially desirable, from physical attractiveness and sex appeal, to popularity and upward mobility. For so many survivors in the gay community, desirability politics often results in abandonment and betrayal, and the widespread denial about the issue is traumatic in and of itself. As rates of harm and violence (abuse, assault, predatory bullying, etc.) among gay men continue to climb, with scarce culturally affirming structural public health interventions, it warrants our immediate attention. I’m sharing my story to help others understand why.